The first time you try something should not be the moment you absolutely need it. During my time in the military, I often applied this concept to both performing a critical task with my nondominant hand and using certain medical equipment. In both cases, the logic of “I’m sure I’ll…
self-care
Identity development is a deeply unique process in which people establish a clear sense of self. Different stages occur during childhood, adolescence, and adulthood. The process of developing an identity has always fascinated me because there are many different factors that influence us and shape who we become.
Just before my last deployment, I remember sitting in a classroom with other Army Special Forces medics, listening to the representative from a supplier of chest injury dressings. It was common practice for suppliers to send someone to talk about or demonstrate their product as part of the contract.
My youngest recently left for college. It was hard to say goodbye, but I know it was time to let her go. I am now an empty nester, though I prefer to think of myself as a successful bird launcher. So what happens now? Many people get to know their…
While watching the Olympics recently, l found myself reminiscing about the days when I played sports. I used to dream about becoming the next Shannon Miller in gymnastics or Mia Hamm in soccer. A more realistic dream was playing sports in college, but that goal quickly became unattainable. In eighth…
I spent a few of my years in the Army working as an instructor. It was never boring because I think I learned as much from teaching as my students did from being taught. My students weren’t new to the Army. For the most part, they were my peers…
I’d tricked myself into thinking I was a night owl for decades. Studying came more easily during those dark, quiet, and still hours. So did going out to nightclubs to dance, meet strangers, and feel a little more anonymous and a lot less self-conscious. When that phase of around-the-clock studying…
Many of my personal breakthroughs and discoveries occurred during college, when I was living in a new city as a young adult with relapsing-remitting multiple sclerosis (RRMS). One of those “aha!” moments was understanding that saying no takes practice, but it’s a necessary aspect of life. A few…
What’s a reliable way to wreck your mood? Fighting your circadian rhythms. I’m a recovering night owl. I used to get more done between 10 p.m. and 2 a.m. than I did in the other 20 hours of the day. I routinely studied past 2 a.m. during college and…
It took years for Gregory Sonn to receive an MS diagnosis. He first noticed symptoms while traveling in his 20s. (Photo courtesy of Gregory Sonn) Day 31 of 31 This is Gregory Sonn’s story: My name is Gregory and I’m currently living in the unincorporated area of Roseville, near…
I used to think I was immune to illness. Getting sick was what my patients did. My multiple sclerosis (MS) diagnosis turned this belief, and many others, upside down. When the chaos of the diagnosis settled, I realized that becoming a patient was the most profound lesson I could…
Just three years before I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis (MS), I was on what was to be my last overseas tour with the U.S. Army. One day while dozing during a lull in a mission, I was awakened by the sensation of someone standing over me.
Last month, I told you that while I’m not a psychologist, I’m fascinated by the subject. I should probably make a list of things I don’t do but still find interesting. One of those professions we can add to the list is historian. I enjoy reading and learning about…
Sending SMS text messages to people with multiple sclerosis (MS) — with tips for fatigue self-management and to regularly check in on them — may be a feasible, acceptable, and engaging tool to help these patients manage disease-related fatigue, according to a pilot study. The findings also showed some…
I’m not very good at this sort of thing, but depending on whether or not you count today and the 25th itself, we’ve got about four days left until Christmas. If I still needed to get my wife anything, I’d be entering shopping panic mode about now. Fortunately, I don’t…
Counting today, there are only 18 shopping days left until Christmas. Unless you’re one of those annoying people who did all their gift buying months ago and won’t stop talking about it, the clock is ticking. I guess that makes me one of those annoying people who reminds you of…
A few columns back, I wrote about my lack of time to get anything done. Sure, the way around it would be to get up infernally early — well, early for me. But I’m most certainly not going to pay to be punished. And that’s the story I’ve always…
When I started this column nearly seven years ago, I thought I had a couple years of material in me at best. It’d be a fun experience writing twice a month, getting some thoughts out there into the world and hopefully helping some people in the process. It certainly has…
By now, I’m sure you’ve seen the pictures of the wildfires that charred Maui, Hawaii. As I write this, a week after the blaze, The Associated Press reports that more than 100 people have been killed, and the governor expects “scores more.” Some neighborhoods are gone. People literally…
My wife hates to cook, except for a big Thanksgiving turkey. I don’t know how to cook, except for scrambled eggs or meat on a grill. So for many years, our meals have pretty much been restaurant (eat-in or carry-out), ready-to-heat from the grocery store, frozen (lasagna or pizza), and,…
About three years before my multiple sclerosis (MS) diagnosis and subsequent retirement, I found myself in Iraq preparing for a mission. I was going out with a different team from another branch of the U.S. military, and the planning and briefing process wasn’t as detailed as I was…
My sleep schedule, according to mathematics, leaves me 11 hours — so what’s my problem? My current ultra-efficient carers arrive at 9:30 a.m. and usually get me into the wet room 15 minutes later. Maybe 20 if my bottom has been misbehaving. It’s been something of a miscreant ever since…
Special Forces Assessment and Selection (SFAS) — a training program for entry into the U.S. Army Special Forces — is rare, even among military courses. It has grueling physical aspects, but the majority of it is mental. It’s really one long test to gauge a participant’s ability to work…
I’m just back from walking our dog. My wife, Laura, rescued him about a year ago, and when she heard his name was Toby, like Tobias, she thought it was a sign that he was the dog for us. We’ve had dogs before, but I’m not getting any younger or…
I don’t know why I find it so impossible to sit still. I feel like every moment I’m not engaged in some creative pursuit, I’m somehow missing out. Or worse, I’m squandering what poet Mary Oliver calls my “one wild and precious life.” Multiple sclerosis (MS) has done…
Well, dear reader, my time in Florida is coming to an end. Mom is home from the hospital after her surgery and a stint in rehab. She has begun outpatient physical therapy, and slowly but surely, she’s getting back to a new kind of normal. My being here is…
Photo courtesy of Jarika Winfield Day 18 of 31 This is Jarika Winfield’s story: My name is Jarika and I’m a 35-year-old queer, two-spirit person. My ethnic backgrounds are Metis and Ukrainian. I live in the unceded territory of the the Musqueam, Squamish, and Tsleil-Waututh people (aka…
We had family portraits made a few days ago. With a family of five, this never goes perfectly, so there was a little pre-photo briefing beforehand. There were some veiled threats, a promise of dinner after as a reward for good behavior, and more than a few hissed admonishments to…
If there’s one thing those of us who have multiple sclerosis (MS) know all too well, it’s that life requires balance. Fellow columnists and I have written about the need to find a happy medium when it comes to mental, physical, and emotional well-being.
The ballerina twirls in the late afternoon light. As if on cue, Tchaikovsky’s “Nutcracker” suite begins to play. I’m lost in the dimly lit ornaments as my mind wanders. I fall into a deep nostalgia. My mind is a montage of Christmases past. My 6-year-old self follows my dad as we…