Before anyone in the U.S. asks who this Jeremy Clarkson fella is, know that petrol heads in your country know exactly who he is. Indeed, the Brit motoring show “Top Gear,” at its height a few years ago, made him and his fellow presenters stars the world over. It…
The week started with a bang, albeit with a hint of underlying anxiety. Friends and former work colleagues gathered during the first days of spring to chat in my sun-lathered back garden in South London. COVID-19 lateral flow tests had all been passed. Previously, we’d spent years working together on…
The dull throbbing always hits a crescendo “in the wee small hours,” as Mr. Sinatra — or rather his songwriters — so aptly put it. I’m referring to a wound that’s been with me for over a year now. True, it disappeared for a teeny while, when my heel…
My week is never exactly easy, but it’s much harder for my family. Not only do they have to deal physically with my ever-enlarging lump of flesh, there’s also my verbal diarrhea to contend with. Then last Tuesday, it wasn’t just the verbal kind. Turns out my bowels began to…
It wasn’t an argument; it was a reality check. I was happy, nay, self-indulgent. Within a day, the ol’ stand-up show that I produced at London’s Comedy Store for 30 years had gotten another booking at a countryside marquee just outside the city. I mustn’t disparage, as it’s our…
There I was, swinging away in my hoist at 9 p.m., though my swinging London of the 2020s wasn’t only 60 years later, it was also a lot, lot grimmer. My carer and maybe still wife, Jane, stood below in a controlled fury. If nothing else, she might…
Am I about to share my first conspiracy theory, even if it’s just about me? Why not? It’s all the rage, though this one may have a loose connection to a possible truth. Stick with the story, please. It requires some scene-setting. It was years ago, at the end of…
Roll up, roll up, for all the fun of the fare! I swallow an awful lot of supplements. Have I also swallowed the barkers’ patter? I don’t think so. But I’m more than aware that if something works on mice, then the chances of it working on me are likely…
Once upon a time, long, long ago, when I was very young, we British children would be asked, “What’s through the round window?” The line was from a TV series called “Play School.” The swinging ’60s may have been breaking in London, but culturally, this was the happening show…
As usual, I’ve gone for what I hope to be an intriguing headline, because you’ve got to grab a reader by any means necessary. If you’ve read this far, I’m winning! This saga goes back well over a year, when my neurologist suggested I participate in a clinical trial for…
In truth, my long, bad Friday started on Thursday afternoon at 5 p.m., although it seems wrong in the middle of a black, midwinter night to still call it afternoon. Still, if you live in Alaska, summer nights never even start! (OK, I’ll stop musing about the vagaries of Earth’s…
Move along, move along. Nothing to read here. What a great start to a column! Last week, my worries about MS lifted as I was consumed by a glitch in my computer software. I’m pleased to report that I’ve found a whole series of admittedly fiddly workarounds. I’m even…
The vagaries of multiple sclerosis are always present, but this week, my waking hours have been consumed by something far more important. I say waking hours, but we have to discount much of that time, because I’m put to bed at the early hour of 10 p.m. and spend several…
I’m pretty sure that wherever you are, you’re responding the same as we all are to the ravages of the latest Bond villain, that dastardly omicron variant of the coronavirus! OK, pipe down, Kiwis. The whole world knows the extreme lengths you’ve gone to avoid a massive COVID-19 outbreak. If…
This is the fifth year I’m writing a Christmastime missive about how my MS journey as Santa is going since the disease mortally attacked my immune system. The trouble was that it took doctors ages to work out my diagnosis. Being Santa Claus, no MRI machine…
I’ve been meaning to do this for a while. My wife, Jane, who’s also my primary MS carer, went away for a few days last week, and with absence making the heart grow fonder and all that, I thought I’d strike — if she came back! Fortunately, she did,…
Well, there’s a new carer at home, actually, but town sounds so much cooler. Like an old-time Western sheriff! My dear wife, Jane, has taken a few days off to attend an ayurvedic yoga retreat, so I’m without the care of She Who Really Must Be Obeyed. (I’ve…
So, where was I last week? I was in the midst of writing this column when I was felled overnight by my long-term nemesis: a urinary tract infection (UTI). As usual, I had no idea I had one — but hey, I was ill. I’m sure I’ve banged on…
I have to admit, I’ve wheeled down the THC path a few times before. Yes, I know it’s very difficult to stay on the path when under the influence. Luckily, I’ve solved this problem by only imbibing in bed. I say imbibing, because for me, smoking the stuff is…
Well, that was fun. I’ve got my party hat on from a recent birthday (of course I have one, it’s my trusty trilby! See my avatar above) and have been out and about having a lot of fun. I splurged by spending time with family and friends, ’cause…
It was my birthday last Friday. No cards, please; it’s far too late. Anyway, considering the world’s supply chain disruption, I’d be well on the way to my next by the time it arrived! Just a small social gathering of immediate family. Six of us demolished 150 quids’ —…
My wife, Jane, woke me up at 9 a.m., announcing, “Welcome to Groundhog Day!” Every day starts the same. Yes, I know the day always started at 6 a.m. in the film, but even 9 a.m. is a terrific shock to my system. Never in my life have I…
“Rage, rage against the dying of the light,” Dylan Thomas wrote in his famous poem about us humans fighting, against all odds, the inevitable moment of death. Oh, yes, I went there. I’m starting with the dark and seeing if I can pull it back with a swath of…
I was tryin’ to find lots of things to do while being trapped at my desk because of a wheelchair mishap. Apologies for my adaption of Bing Crosby’s rendition of that happy-go-lucky song “Busy Doing Nothing.” I was trapped because at 8 p.m. last Friday night, the wire that…
I know that here in England, COVID-19 restrictions have been lifted for about two months. But trepidation has now been instilled in me. It doesn’t help that the vast number of people catching the virus are still a daily news item, nearly two years after the start of the…
So, yes, I’ve been away for four weeks. Anybody miss me? Well not away as such. There are places with hoists — even a specialist camper van you can hire here in the United Kingdom — but matching that with a profiling bed makes for quite the elusive Venn…
I have always liked the odd horror movie, the odder the better. I was a bit of a fan of the trash Troma Studio mob, where their tongue was so firmly in their cheek it usually stuck right through it. For you youngsters out there, think the “Sharknado”…
It’s all happening at once. Yesterday, a box turned up with my new lymphedema wraps, which use compression to help reverse my lymphedema symptoms. I’ve been waiting for the wraps for nearly a month. It turns out I’m such an unusual size that they had to be imported from…
I’ve written about trigeminal neuralgia (TN), which entails severe facial pain, many times. Let me count the ways. Please excuse me while I go off and search through my columns. I’ll be a while. Well, it turns out I’ve written specifically about it only three times,…
Any British comedy aficionados among you will know “He’s fallen in the water” is the most famous of all the innumerable catchphrases of “The Goon Show.” That show was the root of Monty Python and every bit of the new wave of comedy that swept through our country.
Get regular updates to your inbox.
