Chairborne - A Column by Ben Hofmeister

About four years before I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis (MS), someone else inadvertently “diagnosed” me. This person wasn’t medically trained, probably had no personal knowledge of MS, and didn’t actually use the words “multiple sclerosis.” Still, they gave me one of the best clues in my quest…

The new year is nearly upon us, so if you’re planning to make any resolutions, you should probably narrow down the list. As I said last year, I’m not in the habit of making any, but I did resolve to foster a sense of hope. I still have what…

I’m not very good at this sort of thing, but depending on whether or not you count today and the 25th itself, we’ve got about four days left until Christmas. If I still needed to get my wife anything, I’d be entering shopping panic mode about now. Fortunately, I don’t…

When I was in the military, I wore several different hats. A U.S. Special Forces team has only 12 soldiers, so we couldn’t afford for anyone to know just one trick, no matter how good that trick might be. In addition to each person’s primary job, everyone had to know…

Counting today, there are only 18 shopping days left until Christmas. Unless you’re one of those annoying people who did all their gift buying months ago and won’t stop talking about it, the clock is ticking. I guess that makes me one of those annoying people who reminds you of…

I encountered multiple sclerosis (MS) for the first time in a Valdosta High School math class. Before my geometry teacher was diagnosed, I had never known anyone with the disease and, in all likelihood, was completely ignorant about it. I would hear the name again about 10 years…

I’ve warned you in previous columns that you might have to endure a rambling story or two from my military past. It’s just that there are so many lessons from the experience that pertain to my multiple sclerosis (MS). It was supposed to rain later that evening, so…

As I’ve mentioned a time or two, my wife and I have three boys. Although they’re all under the age of 12, they’ve started to talk like the budding teenagers they are. As they mingle with peers more than their parents, their vocabulary in particular becomes less like ours every…

There are a lot of things that I’m afraid of. That seems to come with the territory when you have a chronic disease like multiple sclerosis (MS), or when you’re a parent. At the same time, I don’t have any phobias that I’m aware of. To date, I…

Halloween is five days away, and if you have kids, you’re running out of time to have your costumes ready. My wife and our three boys have everything figured out, minus some finishing touches — unless I want to dress up, of course. Fortunately, I wasn’t planning on it because…

I try not to let my life revolve around multiple sclerosis (MS), but there’s no escaping the fact that the disease affects every part of it. That’s a bit of a conundrum and often frustrates me to no end. If there’s a bright side to be found, it’s that…

With my kids in school, me being retired, and, of course, the limitations of my multiple sclerosis (MS), I have a lot of free time on my hands. I’d like to say that I always use it productively, but that’s far from the truth. I putter — if you…

Back in spring, I wrote about the fatigue that accompanies multiple sclerosis (MS) and how difficult it was to describe and for others to understand. That’s true, of course, but really, the entirety of MS is difficult to explain. Factor in the variety of symptoms and the…

I ask a lot of questions. I have to, because I’ve come to realize that I don’t actually know that much. Asking questions (even to myself) is the only solution. Oddly enough, though, learning new things doesn’t completely scratch my itch, as the answers just keep showing me how much…

I’ve never been one to worry too much about what my purpose in life is. It’s not that I’m incapable of being philosophical, or that I was ever too egotistical to think I needed one. I suppose I just thought that if I had a purpose, it’d work…

Recently, I was asked about the design on the left side of my “Chairborne” banner. A friend from my previous occupation humorously noted that in the original graphic, there’s a skull in the center where the wheelchair now resides. I pointed out that in my current state, a wheelchair…

“Being diagnosed later in life is like watching a TV show with a huge plot twist revealed at the end of the season and then rewatching it with this new knowledge, picking up on all the foreshadowing and getting upset that you didn’t see all of it before.” —…

Years before joining the Army crossed my mind, I was a Boy Scout. We learned all sorts of skills, earned merit badges, and, of course, spent lots of time hiking and camping. I have many fond memories of those scouting years, but one lesson I remember in particular was…

Ten minutes away from the drop zone, we stood up and began the final preparations for the jump. The aircraft flew in anything but a straight line as it turned, banked, and swiftly changed altitude. This unpredictable flying technique was tactically sound, as it made the plane difficult to target,…

I like to look up. No, I’m not referring to my disposition, although I do consider it to be an improvement over what it once was. I’m actually pretty sunny, if you happen to think of “sunny” as burning, harsh, and damaging when you’re exposed to it. What I…

This morning, at an unholy hour, our family awoke to the sound of alarm bells. Well, not bells, but rather the gentle yet insistent sound of one of Alexa’s alarms. Actually, we changed the name of our bedroom device to Ziggy, so we can’t simply roll over, still…

I’m not a doctor, just a patient. And depending on whom you ask, I’m not a very good one, either — unless you happen to be fond of lots of questions. I was a medic in the U.S. Army — a time buyer, as I refer to it…

About three years before my multiple sclerosis (MS) diagnosis and subsequent retirement, I found myself in Iraq preparing for a mission. I was going out with a different team from another branch of the U.S. military, and the planning and briefing process wasn’t as detailed as I was…

I am not left-handed! No, I’m not channeling Westley or Inigo from “The Princess Bride,” just clarifying a common — and fair — assumption. While I now do nearly everything left-handed, including eating, drinking, and even typing this column, my right hand was dominant for most of…

I must look like I need help all the time. I don’t own a shirt or any other article of clothing that says so, and I don’t think I have a helpless look on my face, either. I smile often, sometimes genuinely and sometimes with my mouth formed in…

A few — OK, many — years ago, I played the lead in a production of “Oklahoma!” Don’t get excited; it wasn’t on Broadway or anything like that. It was a high school production, and I suspect I only landed the role because I could sing — and probably…

I didn’t seek support immediately after my diagnosis of multiple sclerosis (MS). To be fair, MS was just an annoyance to me at the beginning. It was simply a set of symptoms, and I was initially happy just to have an explanation for them. To be…

Einstein said that time is relative, and as I age (gracefully, I hope), I’ve found that to be true. For example, I frequently find myself referring to events that occurred a decade or more in the past as happening “just the other day.” In my mind, I’m still…

In the not-too-distant past, a friend shared a video clip from a competitive event with a few of us. One of the competitors had a shock of gray hair and was slowed by a noticeable limp. “Watch how smooth this guy is,” he said. As we all expressed our amazement…

Special Forces Assessment and Selection (SFAS) — a training program for entry into the U.S. Army Special Forces — is rare, even among military courses. It has grueling physical aspects, but the majority of it is mental. It’s really one long test to gauge a participant’s ability to work…