Fatigue from MS is hard to both explain and understand
The struggles to describe a symptom that sometimes I don't comprehend, either
Everyone’s multiple sclerosis (MS) is unique to them. The different disease types, lesion loads, and lesion locations are a few reasons why our symptoms are so variable. We with MS all live in the same neighborhood, just in different houses.
If there were such a thing as a common symptom, fatigue would be it. Movement problems are reported more often by people with MS, but I’d argue that a few of those cases are because of fatigue. Even if it’s still a relatively common issue with multiple sclerosis, it’s probably the most difficult one for me to describe.
With my kids, it’s pretty easy. Any toy with a drained battery is a good example of fatigue, and there’s one that’s particularly appropriate. They have a robot that moves its arms and legs, dances, and talks. When the battery has no energy remaining, that voice slows, movements are strained, and the weak dancing usually results in a fall.
Adults are often another matter entirely. I’d like to think that people have a grown-up desire to understand something in order to sympathize with it. Sometimes, though, it just feels like I’m having a mystery explained to me, as though I’m the one who needs to be enlightened. I’ll understand it if a kind someone shows me there’s really nothing hiding in my closet.
For friends from my former occupation, the Army, I can explain fatigue by telling them to remember being drained by a grueling event. And for those who experienced it, I can even point to the moments after the electric shock of a taser has “disrupted” their nervous system. For the most part though, there’s just not a great example — no dancing robot for adults.
I should explain that I was tased as part of training, not because I needed to be subdued. It makes for a great comparison to MS fatigue, albeit of a much shorter duration. But understand that I absolutely don’t recommend you spread awareness by using one. No matter how satisfying it might be.
“What’s wrong?”
“It’s my multiple sclerosis fatigue.”
“Maybe you’re just tired. I get tired too sometimes.”
“I am tired — exhausted really, but it’s more than that.”
“But you haven’t done anything.”
“Thank you. I know. That’s a very frustrating part of it.”
“A nap is what you need. Your eyes are closing.”
“I’m not sleepy. My eyelids are just too heavy to hold up. It’s like trying to move in Jell-O. Even my thoughts have weight.”
“I understand.”
“No, you don’t, but I have a way to help you to.”
“Wait, is that a taser?”
Wanting to be understood — while perhaps not fully understanding it yourself — makes explaining fatigue next to impossible. Not being able to explain the feeling makes it frustrating to the point of tears, but I’m too exhausted for that, too.
I’ll leave you this week with a definition of metal fatigue from the Encyclopaedia Britannica. I ran across this entry by accident while researching fatigue. On the surface, it has nothing to do with MS, but if you experience fatigue, then you’ll know why I decided to include it.
Metal fatigue: weakened condition induced in metal parts of machines, vehicles, or structures by repeated stresses or loadings, ultimately resulting in fracture under a stress much weaker than that necessary to cause fracture in a single application.
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