A decade with multiple sclerosis demands an anniversary celebration

Valentine’s Day is less than a week away. If you haven’t gotten anything for your significant other yet, let me add to the holiday’s commercialization by reminding you that time is running out.

It really wasn’t my foremost intention to spur anyone into panicked action. This column isn’t even about the holiday at all. This date, set aside to let your special someone know how much they mean to you, has another meaning for me. I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis (MS) on Valentine’s Day, and this year I’m marking my 10-year anniversary with the disease.

I don’t celebrate this date per se, but I do remember it every year as the day when MS and I began a relationship. It’s not a happy relationship. We’re not bound to each other with love and vows sworn before witnesses. It’s more like being in a three-legged race while tied to someone who keeps trying to run in the opposite direction as you. Regardless, it’s our anniversary next week, and it seems significant somehow that we’ve lived, laughed, and loathed for a decade.

Despite my personalizing of it sometimes, multiple sclerosis isn’t a living entity, and we don’t mark the occasion by exchanging gifts. If we did, the traditional gifts for a 10-year anniversary would be aluminum or tin. I never gave much thought to that in past years, but this time the symbolism of those materials felt significant and perhaps a little inspiring.

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These metals symbolize the strength that has carried a relationship through the years. It doesn’t matter what type of MS you have or how severe your symptoms are, your strength, above and beyond the norm, got you this far. I haven’t felt particularly strong lately, and it feels good to be reminded that my strength exists, it has brought me this far, and it will take me further.

Along with their strength, aluminum and tin are pliable, which makes them adaptable. I often feel that I’m being forced to be flexible or adapt to the various symptoms of multiple sclerosis, but without those qualities, I suppose I’d break. Strength plus flexibility is what makes these metals so valuable and useful, and that’s what I want to be for myself, as well as for others.

Tin and aluminum are also renowned for their resilience. Neither rusts, and both stand up well to the passage and challenges of time. These abilities are why they’re used to preserve and protect food. I haven’t always felt resilient over the past decade, but I haven’t decayed yet, so maybe I am. I may not always be the best example to follow, but it’s my hope that my experiences can help protect others when they doubt their own resilience.

While aluminum and tin are the traditional 10th anniversary gifts, the modern gift is diamonds, and there’s a lesson there, too. While they certainly aren’t pliable, diamonds are also strong (hard), adaptable to many uses, and resistant to decay.

However, there’s another comparison to people with MS that I’d like to draw from this gem. Diamonds are a form of the common element carbon. Under intense heat and pressure, they transform into something uncommon, something incredibly durable and unbreakable. I don’t think I’m a gem, but after 10 years, I’d like to think I’m durable. I hope I’m unbreakable. I’m trying to be.

So happy anniversary to me. I’m not extending well wishes to multiple sclerosis because my 10th anniversary with the disease is something I celebrate in spite of it, not because of it.

Getting here has not been fun, and there were painful lessons learned on the way. I plan on making it to the next milestone by being as strong as aluminum and as durable as a diamond.

Note: Multiple Sclerosis News Today is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Multiple Sclerosis News Today or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to multiple sclerosis.