Disability pride is a tricky concept for me to relate to

I almost didn’t write this column. It might be a sensitive topic, but I’m not afraid of offending anyone. Even if I do, it’s not intentional.

It’s not that I don’t understood the subject, either. I think I do, but I’ve been having a lot of trouble putting it into words. Here goes: This month is Disability Pride Month, but I’m not proud to be disabled.

If “deserving” is even the right word, I deserve to be called disabled. Everyone with multiple sclerosis (MS) does, even if the disabilities are invisible. Our disease may not fit the definition of rare, and we may not have been born disabled, but the reality of our disabilities is inescapable. What’s also inescapable is that none of us chose this, so how exactly am I supposed to be proud of being unlucky?

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To me, being proud of something means I’m responsible for it. I’m proud that I passed the selection process for the U.S. Army Special Forces. If the powers that be had just handed me that qualification or assigned it to me at random, I wouldn’t have that same feeling of pride.

I suppose you could argue that I exposed myself to the environmental triggers possibly linked to MS, but the disease and its resulting disabilities feel as though they were assigned to me at random. I’m not happy about it, nor am I proud. If I were, I doubt I’d put any effort into overcoming them via therapy, medication, or just plain workarounds.

Some might say there’s pride in not giving up or letting my disabilities get the better of me. I guess there is an alternative to not giving up, but it’s not a choice for me. If I considered it a viable alternative, I suppose I owe an apology to that woman at the grocery store who congratulated me for “getting on with life.”

How the ADA fits in

I’m not proud that I’ve accepted multiple sclerosis, either, because I’m not sure that I have. I’ve accepted that I have this disease and the limitations that go with it, but I don’t accept it as normal, nor do I expect anyone else to. Do I accept myself as a person and a member of society? Of course. Do I accept this disease and the many ways it has disabled me as normal? Certainly not. That isn’t normal. If it were, we wouldn’t need to raise awareness and no one would be working on finding a cure.

Maybe disability pride means simply not being ashamed. Although I’m far from embracing it, I think I can honestly say that I’m not ashamed of being disabled. It wasn’t always this way, though. As each disability went from invisible to visible, I tried to hide it as long as I could.

I still don’t like disability, but I’m not ashamed of it anymore. I’m proud of the people with MS who’ve helped me along the way, and I’m proud if anyone has used my example to find their own way to not being ashamed of their disability.

At the end of the day, it doesn’t really matter how I feel. Disability Pride Month is a celebration of the passing of the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA). I’d always taken for granted that this law existed before my lifetime, but it actually was signed just 34 years ago tomorrow, on July 26, 1990. Every time I park in a handicapped parking space at a restaurant and maneuver my wheelchair up a ramp to the door, I’m reminded of the people who made it possible.

That’s what I choose to be proud of this month: the people with disabilities who worked to get the law passed and who continue to work to this day to make disabled life easier. I can be proud of people instead of my own limitations or the disease that caused them.

Note: Multiple Sclerosis News Today is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Multiple Sclerosis News Today or its parent company, Bionews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to multiple sclerosis.