relationships

After you get a new diagnosis and are coming to terms with a new way of life, the next part is especially tricky. You have to tell others. “Urgh. I don’t want to tell anyone! Why do I have to?” I’ve had this conversation with myself more than once.

Do you ever wake up in the middle of the night thinking strange thoughts about your MS and your dog? I did the other night. I’ve written about Joey, my cocker spaniel, a couple of times. For example, there was a column about the adventure of taking him for…

“Take the time you need,” “This too shall pass,” and “You can’t pour from an empty cup” are just a few idioms I have used to encourage others. Strong shoulders carry heavy loads. My shoulders bear the weight of myself and countless others. The DNA of an empath is…

“You look OK to me.” He stood, towering over me, his big belly billowing from his shirt as he straightened up and lifted his chin, glaring down at me over folded arms.  I swallowed. Anxiety rushed through me. What am I going to do? I was desperate…

I like my husband. I like his generous heart, his humility, and his penchant for Tommy Bahama shorts, T-shirts, and flip-flops. Sure, I love him. Yet our love has changed throughout our 23-year marriage. We have traded passion for patience and lust for loyalty. While each exists, they are…

Who wants to go on holiday?!  I know, I know, we can’t physically go anywhere right now, but what if I told you that you could go anywhere you wanted while staying at home? Stay with me! It’s been really sunny and blindingly hot in the U.K.

How are you? These three words are ingrained in our vernacular. The question is often asked as a kind gesture, a greeting of sort. Are we truthful in our inquiry, and are we genuinely interested in how someone is faring? The intent of this week’s column is to explain the…

It was 4 a.m. and a crisis was brewing. I knew that this time, I’d be a nincompoop if I tried to deal with the situation myself, as I’d faced spectacular failures recently with the poop bit. I was still groggy from having taken diazepam to deal with my…

“You can’t say that!” Screams erupted over our Zoom chat resulting in infectious laughter. Admittedly, it was rude, too rude to mention, especially considering the unexpectedness of who said it.  Fun and laughter are what’s keeping us all going right now.

I hate needles. Being told I’d need to do injections was the worst news ever, second only to my diagnosis of multiple sclerosis.  Sitting in the neurologist’s office with my husband, Paul, was terrifying. I was 22 and newly diagnosed with…

I’ve never done this before, but I’m dictating this column to my wife. She has many attributes, among them being trained as a secretary many years ago. We went to the same further-education college when we were both in our late teens, but never met while there. I think she…

Sexual dysfunction is prevalent among women with multiple sclerosis (MS), and one way physicians can help improve their patients’ quality of life is to ask them about the problem. That finding is detailed in the study “Sexual dysfunction in women with multiple sclerosis: prevalence and impact on…

Jan. 1, 2020 was a special day in our house, and not just because a new decade came into being. (Or did it?) It marked our 20th wedding anniversary, and my husband and I chose to celebrate in style this year by taking a cruise together. (Yes, if you’re…

This is the story of how I became a patient columnist. Three years ago, I was still walking. Shambling, anyway. I could get up and down stairs but had to rest before reaching my ordinary car with fitted hand controls. To go somewhere on my own, I needed someone to…

Well, this is one way of showing that I attended first-year philosophy seminars: Draw on the thoughts of Plato and Aristotle, then leap two millennia to Descartes. I never studied history, but I’m actually far more comfortable with it! Also, I don’t think I’ve ever built a column based on…

“Hi! My name is Stephanie and I have multiple sclerosis and narcolepsy.” While I don’t introduce myself this way, knowing the right time to share this information can be challenging. When I meet someone, I wonder if I should mention it or wait until an appropriate situation arises. It can…

To empower and support prospective mothers with multiple sclerosis (MS), MyHealthTeams — a free social network for people with chronic medical conditions — and pharmaceutical EMD Serono have launched the online Family Planning Resource Center. The new center operates within the network’s MyMSTeam, and is sponsored in…

Only 347 shopping days to go! So don’t dismiss this as a column about last Christmas (though that’s what it is!) but as possibly the first on the planet about the next one. Luckily, I quite like nut roast. But it is very much “quite” like. I don’t like it…

I read a sad tweet last night (though, in a way, aren’t all of them somewhat sad?) in which a woman told a story about her friend who had just broken up with her boyfriend of one year. She asked her friend how she was holding up. The reply was…

I sat stunned as tears welled. I gazed toward the pain in my knee. My pants were torn. Blood pooled, then dripped down my calf. I was transfixed. The contents of my purse were strewn beneath a car. I reached for my phone but recoiled from the pain in my…

After having multiple sclerosis for six years, I’ve decided there are five things “healthy” people might not understand about the disease, and it really drives me crazy.  So, I’ve compiled some common misconceptions and advice to help spread awareness among those who aren’t familiar…

Marriage is hard. It is also the most beautiful, sacred, and honest of all my experiences. Our vulnerable reality is a far cry from the blissful naivete of our wedding day. We had no idea how trying our future would become or how deeply our devotion would grow. I credit…

People with relapsing-remitting multiple sclerosis (RRMS) who don’t use disease-modifying therapies (DMTs) are more likely to have been misdiagnosed previously, and to have poorer relationships with their healthcare providers, the results of a new survey suggest. The survey, titled “Multiple Sclerosis In America 2019,” was conducted by …

At 17, I began a 20-year odyssey with endometriosis. The doctor’s platitudes and disbelief were astonishing and leveled my sense of self. The findings of severe endometriosis served as a painful “I told you so.” My life became a whirlwind of physical and emotional upheaval. For a young woman,…

Editor’s note: “Need to Know” is a series inspired by common forum questions and comments from readers. Have a comment or question about MS? Visit our forum. This week’s question is inspired by the forum topic “When do you tell your employer about your MS?” from Jan. 15,…

Relationships between multiple sclerosis patients and their intimate partners were enhanced when the couple worked together to make lifestyle changes, and to develop skills to improve communication, a study shows. 

Last week, CNN’s Anderson Cooper broadcast an interview with “The Late Show” host Stephen Colbert. They had a lively discussion about comedy, politics, careers, and the like, but perhaps the most stunning eight minutes of the interview were focused on grief. Colbert, a devout Catholic, said, “It’s…

I find airport newsstands alluring. I am drawn toward the litany of books. Shelves of colorful covers beckon to me, bestsellers emblazoned with enticing accolades. I need those books, I tell myself, so I buy two. Fortunately, my shallow criteria are confined to airport literature. Life most certainly imitates art.

There is nothing worse than being diagnosed with a disorder that you know nothing about. While it was extremely difficult for me to take in, my parents also were affected. I had never thought about how my parents felt about my multiple sclerosis (MS) diagnosis and what I have…

I confess. I was a toxic person. A “toxic” person can possess many different characteristics — some can be more harmful than others. What do you do when you realize you have a toxic attitude?  The beginning  I never imagined myself becoming a…