Coping methods

Sunlight flooded my bedroom. My tired eyes slowly pulled apart. Realization set in: It was Saturday. Yes! I love Saturdays.  As I got out of bed and glanced outside my window, a crazy thought crossed my mind.  “I’m going running.” I hadn’t…

Photo courtesy of Joanna Hammond Day 29 of 31 This is Joanna Hammond’s story: I was diagnosed with MS back in January 2018, and I felt like my world had fallen apart. One of the very best things I did very quickly was to attend my local…

Last updated April 25, 2023 Expectations equal resentment. It’s simple logic, yet profoundly true. Each time I set an expectation for myself or someone else, I set myself up for a potential letdown. Resentment happens as a byproduct of disappointment, despite the best intentions. As my multiple sclerosis (MS)…

“Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?” The other night I watched the movie “Bohemian Rhapsody,” and seeing the portrayal of the late Queen frontman Freddie Mercury as he faced an HIV/AIDS diagnosis brought my own MS diagnosis…

For a week, I’ve spent my afternoons painting our enclosed garden. When we built it last spring, the wood was new and lovely, but rain and sun have taken a toll on everything, leaving it dingy and dull. And now that we have a custom-built white shed (courtesy of my…

I failed the complaint challenge. The goal was to go 24 hours without complaining — no complaining about anything. Yet while the objective is commendable, a win is nearly impossible. I’m not much of a complainer, and I still fell short. I’d venture to say that many others would, too,…

I glanced at the clock: 15:51. I was relieved. For some reason, I’ve been obsessed with time lately. I’m not sure if it’s due to lockdown anxiety or the ups and downs of my multiple sclerosis, but time has…

We often focus on what we don’t have rather than what we do. This doesn’t just apply to our relationships, but to everything: our carers, our careers, our children, our homes, our cars, etc.  I often hear people wishing they had more:  “I wish…

Bravado is lost in the blink of an eye. Self-doubt erodes certitude until we find that our default modus operandi is to refuse. Opportunities, happiness, possibilities, and growth seem to pass. This no-risk mentality brings no reward. Chronic illness is a breeding ground for skepticism. We live in a world…

I am confident. I am amazing. I am enough.  Don’t worry, I’m not getting big-headed. I say these statements to myself every day. Why? It’s part of a routine I started a few years ago, and it’s safe to say…

Optimism is kryptonite to the fear and doubt I keep inside. I am grateful for my cheerful disposition because it allows me to maintain balance. But balance is not healing. Left alone, those feelings that I fear ultimately fester. I tend to push aside sadness or frustration. I…

I have a secret. You may roll your eyes at me when you hear this one.  It’s how I juggle spending time with family and friends, running a business, and exercising while managing fatigue. If you know me, you know my secret. Or…

As hard as it is to believe, we’re now nearly a year into this pandemic. Thankfully, two vaccines are currently working their way through the system and into people’s arms in the U.S., and before 2021 is out, perhaps we’ll get back to something resembling normalcy (whatever that is). One…

Almost every characteristic of multiple sclerosis differs for each of us who has the disease. While we share commonalities inherent to multiple sclerosis that make us similar to one another, much about the way our disease manifests is unique. This is why MS is sometimes referred to as the “…

Can January March? No, but April May!  OK, well, I thought it was funny.  Nothing beats the January blues like bad puns, right? Let’s face it. For most people, January sucks. The end of the year is full of excitement. There are…

“Ooh, I found some of your artwork in the loft. Did you still want it?” My mum’s beautiful, melodic voice sang through the phone during our regular chat.  “Heck yes! Can I pick it up tomorrow?” I replied. I didn’t know what had happened…

The holidays can be difficult for many reasons, but one of the things I struggle with is the breakdown of routines. The kids are home from school and spend way too much time directionless, their faces glued to one screen or another. Work slows down or stops entirely as…

Now I know what it is like to write like Jack Kerouac and Hunter S. Thompson. Not because I have their talent (if only), but due to the inescapable fact that I’m so high that the children’s Christmas kites flapping in the park are far below me! Oh, it turns…

There is something poetic about transitioning to a new year. It’s the melancholy of farewell fused with hopeful expectancy, the bittersweet juxtaposition of closing one door while opening another. Yet for a moment, I am noncommittal. With one foot in each year, I eventually shift my weight from 2020…

Psalms 23 has always been my comfort when I needed respite from the hardships of life and chronic illness. My mother used to read that Bible passage to me as a child, and now it has become a cornerstone of my faith. Today, I find myself in the valley of…

I don’t know about you all, but when I first learned I had multiple sclerosis, I felt utterly powerless. Weak. Beaten down. Cornered. Cowed. Yes, I experienced all of these negative feelings (and a hundred more besides) in the first year or two after my diagnosis. But after time, I…

The end of the year is incredibly difficult. We already have to put up with more than others because of our MS.  In addition to that, the weather changes, the clocks turn back, and there is less sunlight, meaning vitamin…

Overachieving is my jam. Go big or go home. I strive to be the best at whatever it is I do. Currently, I am achieving greatness in my ability to fall. Three falls in three weeks is a new record. The first one happened in the kitchen. Upon feeling myself…

Well, folks, we made it to the end of a very long political season and an even longer week. I don’t know about you, but I don’t feel a bit relieved. In fact, I have tension and stress trapped in every muscle and joint of my body. And that’s not…

I have been living in the land of Netflix. It went from a place I would visit from time to time to a home away from home. In between life’s moments, I find myself teleported to the land of escape. I become lost amid the complexity of characters and the…

It doesn’t take much for us to feel uncertain. It could be the result of a new symptom or doing something you’ve never before done, such as attending a telehealth appointment. Maybe the election causes you uncertainty. Perhaps current events or new…

The cog fog (cognitive fog) is thick and heavy. I cannot seem to extract words from the alphabet soup that fills my head. This is torturous for a self-described word nerd. And as my MS progresses, so does the fog. Slowed cognition has become one of the most…

Despite the melatonin and Kava tea, the hot baths and weighted blanket, I’m not sleeping very well these days. I haven’t been for months actually. In addition to the “low-burn” stresses that come with adulthood and the utterly average cares of the workaday world, I have felt a…

Multiple sclerosis has taught me many lessons over the last 16 years, and one of the most lasting ones has been about finding balance. I can’t run like a madwoman from one task to the next and not expect consequences. There has to be a balance between work and rest.

“I’m just lazy,” I told myself. “Why can’t I do the things I need to do? I’m so exhausted and in pain all the time, I just want to sleep. Are my MS symptoms getting worse?” My body was driving…