relationships

Pregnancy does not lead to long-term changes in the disease course of multiple sclerosis (MS), new research suggests. This work, which emphasizes the importance of careful data analysis, supports studies disputing previous beliefs that pregnancy worsened or lessened the long-term disease course of MS. The findings were presented by Mar Tintore,…

I am in a state of anxious exhaustion. Anxiety has been a lifelong companion that has presented itself in various ways since childhood. In hindsight, I can recognize triggers and reactions. During times of anxiety, I’ve felt as if I was losing my mind. Over the years, I’ve learned…

Marriage is hard. It is also the most beautiful, sacred, and honest of all my experiences. Our vulnerable reality is a far cry from the blissful naivete of our wedding day. We had no idea how trying our future would become or how deeply our devotion would grow. I credit…

People with relapsing-remitting multiple sclerosis (RRMS) who don’t use disease-modifying therapies (DMTs) are more likely to have been misdiagnosed previously, and to have poorer relationships with their healthcare providers, the results of a new survey suggest. The survey, titled “Multiple Sclerosis In America 2019,” was conducted by …

At 17, I began a 20-year odyssey with endometriosis. The doctor’s platitudes and disbelief were astonishing and leveled my sense of self. The findings of severe endometriosis served as a painful “I told you so.” My life became a whirlwind of physical and emotional upheaval. For a young woman,…

My eyes are closed. Both arms are in a loose “X” across my chest. I feel my heartbeat quicken as I lean back. I fall. For a moment in time, I am afraid. But before fear takes over, a dozen hands cradle me instead. A trust fall. This team-building exercise,…

I saw a praying mantis this morning. The long, leaf-like oddity caught me off guard. I was transfixed by the beautiful specimen, its prayerful state contrasting starkly with its violent mating ritual. The female is known to eat the head of the male — a shift in temperament at…

Judgment is a social ill that many people with chronic illness must endure. People have said, “You’re not the same person,” “Snap out of it,” and of course, “You don’t look sick.” Most recently, referring to my irritability and need to regroup, someone asked where the old me had gone.

Editor’s note: “Need to Know” is a series inspired by common forum questions and comments from readers. Have a comment or question about MS? Visit our forum. This week’s question is inspired by the forum topic “When do you tell your employer about your MS?” from Jan. 15,…

Cathy Tolk, a multiple sclerosis (MS) patient and a motivational speaker, has opened a website that features her weekly articles, video blogs or  vlogs, inspirational messages, and mentions of two published books. Tolk, who lives in Connecticut, was diagnosed with MS in 1995 after years of bringing joy to…

Relationships between multiple sclerosis patients and their intimate partners were enhanced when the couple worked together to make lifestyle changes, and to develop skills to improve communication, a study shows. 

Last week, CNN’s Anderson Cooper broadcast an interview with “The Late Show” host Stephen Colbert. They had a lively discussion about comedy, politics, careers, and the like, but perhaps the most stunning eight minutes of the interview were focused on grief. Colbert, a devout Catholic, said, “It’s…

I recently saw a greeting card that read, “You never know how strong you are until being strong is your only choice.” No truer words. While I am grateful for my strength, there are moments when I would like another choice. Maybe it is a mind game. Perhaps I would…

I find airport newsstands alluring. I am drawn toward the litany of books. Shelves of colorful covers beckon to me, bestsellers emblazoned with enticing accolades. I need those books, I tell myself, so I buy two. Fortunately, my shallow criteria are confined to airport literature. Life most certainly imitates art.

There is nothing worse than being diagnosed with a disorder that you know nothing about. While it was extremely difficult for me to take in, my parents also were affected. I had never thought about how my parents felt about my multiple sclerosis (MS) diagnosis and what I have…

I confess. I was a toxic person. A “toxic” person can possess many different characteristics — some can be more harmful than others. What do you do when you realize you have a toxic attitude?  The beginning  I never imagined myself becoming a…

“Thank you for sharing” is a clichéd phrase I never expected to use, or indeed have used toward me! However, it is often bandied at the end of these columns by the select few who like my work, so I can’t be too churlish about it. Why write about it…

Our emotional selves are unique to each of us. The catalysts that elicit tears and fears vary. We feel emotions rise and await their eruption. Contrarily, they can catch us off guard. Sometimes a seemingly benign stimulus can invoke strong feelings. I should know better than to assume that anything…

The other day, a young woman with multiple sclerosis (MS) shared her worry in a Facebook group that her disease would prevent her from playing with her grandchildren someday. Her concern got me thinking about how I’ve handled my MS and my grandchildren. My granddaughter is almost 5 and will…

The storms keep coming. Whenever I think I will land ashore, a hurricane sends me back into the eye of the storm. I want to write; however, I fall short of time and, ultimately, the words to explicate all I am going through. Most writers have interval writer’s block. Emotional…

Women with MS Have Higher Prevalence of Sexual Dysfunction, Study Reveals I’m surprised that someone felt it necessary to conduct a formal study of this. A glance at multiple sclerosis (MS) groups on social media, although unscientific, would suggest that this is a common problem. And if you’re going…

Women with multiple sclerosis (MS) are more likely to experience sexual dysfunction and sexual distress than those without the disease, a study reports. According to researchers, the high prevalence of sexual problems among these women may be linked to their age, degree of physical disability, and depression. The…

Former Vice President Joe Biden has been in some hot water recently because of his habit of hugging some of the people he meets. More generally, in today’s society, some of the casual social touching that once went on, particularly in the workplace, has become out of bounds.

Cognitive and neuropsychiatric problems caused by relapsing-remitting multiple sclerosis (RRMS) — such as memory and processing issues, depression, and irritability — are the main source of strain among life partners of MS patients with mild disability, a study finds. The study, “Caregiver strain among life partners…

I am balancing my laptop on one pillow and a leg brace. I have myriad MS-related health issues; alas, this is not among them. After meniscus surgery, aggressive arthritis, and a loss of cartilage, I’m facing knee replacement. Due to a busy schedule and the sustaining effects of Rituxan (rituximab),…

My nephew James has taken an interest in this column since having a starring role in it a few weeks ago. We were at his mum’s 60th birthday party. He casually asked, “What are you going to write about next week?” A good question. I answered with a…

Caring for a loved one with multiple sclerosis (MS) can be exhausting, resulting in crankiness, sleepless nights, and excessive sadness, but many resources are available to help deal with the daily challenges of caregiving, said social worker, therapist, and wellness educator Lara Krawchuk. “Care partner fatigue is a normal and…

If you’re a member of the baby boomer generation, or if you just like the music of the 1960s and ’70s, you probably know Paul Simon’s “50 Ways to Leave Your Lover“: “‘The problem is all inside your head,’ she said to me. ‘The answer is easy…

People who take care of their own needs while caring for a loved one with multiple sclerosis (MS) are more likely to be successful, and enjoy a mutually rewarding relationship. And the best way to ensure that partners’ needs are met is for them to communicate openly and often.

Living with secondary progressive multiple sclerosis is a lesson in discovery. I strive to manage life with MS one day at a time. My disease touches all aspects of my life. One of the elements it affects is intimacy: closeness, affinity, warmth, trust, and mutual affection. Intimacy is friendliness,…