Upon Reflection, I’m Determined to Seize the Day
Do you think about death? I do — a lot. I mean, like almost every day. Don’t get…
Butterflies and Bridges: The Importance of Perspective and Perseverance With MS
The butterfly effect is an idea coined by mathematician and meteorologist Edward Lorenz that is based on chaos theory. Lorenz pondered whether the flapping of a butterfly’s wings in one part of the world could cause a hurricane on the other side of the world. I believe this…
Focusing on What I Can Do Rather Than What I Can’t
This year, I’ve been acutely aware that my body isn’t perfect. Sometimes it doesn’t move well. Sometimes it cuts off sensation in my limbs without notice. Sometimes it gets wiped out from fatigue. Sometimes it’s like MS shakes up my head so hard, like a can of soda, that I…
After My Diagnosis, Daily Affirmations Changed How I Spoke to Myself
I am confident. I am amazing. I am enough. Don’t worry, I’m not getting big-headed. I say these statements to myself every day. Why? It’s part of a routine I started a few years ago, and it’s safe to say…
Mindfulness and Perspective: The Tools I Rely on While Living With MS
Several summers ago I had the misfortune of experiencing the simultaneous agony of kidney stones and gallstones. The level of pain was greater than I’d had with childbirth. It brought me to my knees and took two hospitals, one misdiagnosis, and two surgeries to get…
Let Go and Live
Six weeks ago, Abby, my golden retriever, had a seizure. I was sitting behind her when she began to rock; I have never moved so fast. I could only see the bloodshot whites of her eyes as she whimpered lightly and I began to wail. I intuitively hugged her,…
You Only Think You Know
When I tell people I have multiple sclerosis, I usually get one of three responses: • “Oh, no! I feel so bad for you!” (Pity) • “Is that the one with the telethon?” (Confusion) • “I know all about that disease! My sister-in-law’s cousin’s college roommate has…
Keep Taking the Steroids!
Six months ago, I was a reasonably svelte 14 and a half stone. I’m not sure how I managed it, but it was certainly before pitting edema wrapped itself around my shins and calves like bulbous sacks of wineskins. I managed to get on the scales a while…
The Heart of It All and Healing from Within
“The very beating of your heart has meaning and purpose.” This is a quote from Andy Andrews in “The Butterfly Effect.” I have referenced this quote on several occasions. It speaks volumes because it affirms that we are here on purpose, not by chance. I did an…
One Man’s Playground is Another Man’s Horror
Multiple sclerosis has a way of messing with one’s head. Whether it’s emotional or psychiatric disorders, fatigue, brain fog, or physical problems, there’s a lot to wrestle with. And to effectively battle this disease requires you to be in a certain state of mind. Let me give…