Do What You Can Do (And No More)

I don’t know about you, but last week passed in a blur. I typically enjoy Thanksgiving, but this year, things were a little wonky. My husband’s grandfather passed away a month or so ago, so we weren’t about to ask his grandmother to prepare anything. My mother-in-law and I decided to shoulder the load together, but then my father-in-law ended up in the hospital. If we were to have a holiday, it meant 100 percent of the cooking would fall to me.

And oh, how I love a good challenge.

I did buy a few things like rolls and pie (because I’m not a martyr and the Marietta Diner here in Georgia makes a killer cherry one). However, even with these shortcuts, I still spent nearly five hours cooking things like homemade cranberry sauce and vegetarian gravy, which is fantastic. I also prepped the turkey and the other five sides.

The next day, I rolled out of bed at 5:30 a.m. and got the oven cranked up for a five-hour marathon of cooking. Pan dressing, corn casserole, green bean casserole, sweet potato souffle, macaroni and cheese — it all went in according to schedule. And I finished within 15 minutes of my planned end time. Boom goes the dynamite, right?

Well, my father-in-law had come home from the hospital the day before but felt too ill to travel, and no one would leave their house if he couldn’t come. So, rather than drive it all to Grandma’s house, I packed it all up and headed to the farm. My husband fetched the grand dame and brought her to the festivities, and it all worked out quite well in the end.

But all that work cost me something.

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That night, I came home happy because I had been able to provide a nice holiday meal for everyone, but I was weary from the top of my head to the bottoms of my feet. I was so tired, I swear my hair hurt.

That meant the day after Thanksgiving was what Noodles the Pug would refer to as a “No Bones Day.” It was time to be lazy and take care of myself after such a long stretch of work. I’ve learned over the last 17 years as an MS patient that I have energy for a lot of things, but never for everything. I can haul like a pack mule for quite a long time, but my strength isn’t infinite. At some point, I have to shut down and recharge, or my body will do it for me. (And that’s never pretty, let me tell you.)

It’s all about balance, isn’t it? I mean, for most of us, fatigue is a given. We can’t really fight it, but we can learn how to manage it and create a few workarounds. So yes, I worked my tail off for the holiday, and then I spent the next three days resting and taking care of myself.

My kids stayed to help my husband on the farm, so I spent that time resting and doing things for myself. I decorated my Little Free Library for Christmas, and planted rosemary topiaries (complete with red bows) in pretty boxes at the base of our front porch stairs. I slept and read books and watched way too much football and Netflix. And by the time everyone came home, I was pretty much back to normal. I felt more like myself and ready to get back at it.

While we may not be able to go all out all the time because of multiple sclerosis, that doesn’t mean we can’t accomplish what we set out to do. It may take us a little longer (with a few “No Bones Days” in there to help keep everything balanced), but we can always get it done.

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