grief

The company I keep has changed over the past 10 years. I used to associate with people who were much like me. We had a similar way of thinking and faced many of the same challenges in life. I was a part of an upper tier of the U.S. Army,…

It’s been a year and a half since I was diagnosed with primary progressive multiple sclerosis (PPMS). I still have use of my limbs and am able to walk, albeit shakily, without a walker. My eyesight has not been affected, I drive, and am able to carry on a…

Hello, all. It’s been almost a year since I’ve written a column, and I missed connecting with you. I’ve been processing the grief of losing my mother in September 2020, withstanding the challenges of living with multiple sclerosis and chronic pain, and valiantly attempting to find the message…

It is hard to watch the decline in real time. It happens before my very eyes. Like “Groundhog Day,” I wake, I try, and I do. I persevere because that is who I am. I push past the chaos in my body. I don’t see every new pain as…

The holidays can be difficult for many reasons, but one of the things I struggle with is the breakdown of routines. The kids are home from school and spend way too much time directionless, their faces glued to one screen or another. Work slows down or stops entirely as…

Psalms 23 has always been my comfort when I needed respite from the hardships of life and chronic illness. My mother used to read that Bible passage to me as a child, and now it has become a cornerstone of my faith. Today, I find myself in the valley of…

At the beginning of each year, I reflect on the one that has just passed. In this column, I’m looking back on my multiple sclerosis (MS) columns from 2018, at some of the most popular topics, and how they affect those of us with MS. My column’s year…

Dealing with bundled change, loss, and multiple sclerosis (MS) has turned out to be more of a challenge than I could have  imagined, and I have not been very good at it. Coming to terms with the loss of a loved one is overwhelming on its…

The holiday bustle has begun. As Thanksgiving approaches, I ponder the season and a lump forms in my throat. I am grateful to be here and for the blessings of family and friends. But my heart aches with grief for those loved ones who are no longer with me.

It has been a while since I’ve written a column. Within one month, two of my relatives have passed away. Spiritually, I believe in eternal life. However, in my earthly existence, death has left its sting. Multiple deaths, physical pain, and disappointments have catapulted me into a cycle of…

One year ago, I wrote “Grief, Self-preservation and Multiple Sclerosis.” My…

I can’t believe Thanksgiving is only a few days away. Time truly passes quickly. The holidays are bittersweet for me; I experience both joy and unrest. I believe there are others who can relate. The holiday season can be stressful and I always try to pace myself. In…

Grief can cut like a knife and pierce a hole in your heart that never fully heals. I’ve heard people say they prepare themselves after learning about a loved one’s terminal diagnosis, but how? How do you prepare to say a final goodbye? You can brace…

Why me? Why us? What have I done? How much loss can I endure? We’ve all been here. This was one of my weeks. The unexpected death of my nephew hurled me into this episodic gloom. I asked “What else is going to happen? Is life trying to…

Recent weeks have been filled with enough political drama to last a lifetime. Wherever I go virtually (and now, even in “real life”), ideological division has been amplified to the extreme. Except … when I go to the multiple sclerosis online forum I co-administrate. Meet the people in my neighborhood The…

MS is an onerous disease. There are times when I feel as if I am in the midst of a tsunami. Everything comes crashing in and all I want is a safe haven, a level of calm. The tsunami consists of depression, physical symptoms and the destruction of peace.

Grief can weaken our immune system, elevate our blood pressure, and affect our overall health. During a loss, especially one of the magnitude of a loved one, self-preservation is not always a top priority. For those of us with multiple sclerosis, the mental anguish that is grief can exacerbate our already…

We are officially entering into the holiday season. Thanksgiving is almost here and Christmas will follow. The stores are filled with decorations. Holiday sales are advertised and children are excitedly preparing their Christmas lists. In addition, we will receive, and may even send the proverbial “Happy Holidays” greeting cards.