self-care

I recently sent my neurologist a thank-you card. A friend of mine was incredulous and truly baffled at my gesture. “Why would you thank your doctor?” she asked. Why wouldn’t I? I am thankful for my doctor’s wisdom and also her heart. She is an elusive hybrid of extreme intelligence…

OK, this was my first test. Accomplish this and Day One should be a breeze. The trick is not to panic. You’ve crossed a continent with your thumb — now all you have to do is get out of bed on your own. You manage it most days…

I confess. I was a toxic person. A “toxic” person can possess many different characteristics — some can be more harmful than others. What do you do when you realize you have a toxic attitude?  The beginning  I never imagined myself becoming a…

I am frequently commended for my demeanor. For my strength amid pain and adversity. For my optimism and happy disposition. For making the most of my circumstances. I love my steadfast faith. I love my fierce determination. I love my decision to combat pain and adversity with hope. I love…

Sometimes I feel that some in the multiple sclerosis (MS) community do not show kindness to each other. Perhaps they can’t relate to others’ MS realities because their symptoms are dissimilar or they have a different disease type. I have witnessed interactions between people with MS in which one…

Editor’s note: “Need to Know” is a series inspired by common forum questions and comments from readers. Have a comment or question about MS? Visit our forum. This week’s question is inspired by the forum topic, “With MS I have learned the importance of…

I watched the sunrise with dread, my peaceful time disquieted by my own internal chatter. An 80-degree day would soon replace the cool mid-January morning. Not my favorite. I am a creature of conditioning. Pavlov would be proud. The mere sight of the hazy morning sun against the blue…

Last updated May 5, 2023 As the year comes to a close, I find myself in a reflective state. This mild nostalgia visits each December and accompanies me into the New Year. I usually honor this slight melancholy by thinking of all that has transpired in a mere 365 days.

I knew it was going to be one of those days as soon as I opened my eyes. I woke in some sort of half-start, my eyelids popping abruptly open as I looked up at the ceiling. Something seemed…

  Living with multiple sclerosis (MS) could be compared to having an annoying house guest who never leaves. You can tolerate them at first, but soon your nerves and resilience wear thin. You try to accept and adapt to the house guest, but you never give up on trying to…

Last week, I wrote about climbing through grief. This week, I will focus on what I learned in the throes of the cycle of grief. Several people share the opinion that I do too much. My cousin often says that he wants me to say no to…

I turned 40 this year, and it seemed like a mighty fine time to stop and take stock. After all, I’m at the midway point, and if I want the second half of my life to be as fun and productive as the first, I have to make…

The TV was on as background noise the other day, but the words of the commercial cut right through my noise filter. With a little drum beat in the background, a woman’s voice was saying, “The doctor called me and she was, like, ‘You have multiple sclerosis.'” “Another drug…

There ‘s a top 10 list of New Year’s resolutions that are most commonly made and then most commonly broken. Lose weight, get fit, stop smoking (well, never touch hard drugs like tobacco), and spend more time with the family (they have no choice unless they leave…

In last week’s column, I shared what I called my ABCs of gratitude. In the past few days, I’ve had to revisit my list several times. This was a distressing week. Even more perplexing is my inability to determine the exact cause of my anguish. I could not…

Gratitude is defined as the quality of being thankful; a readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness. By definition, we can infer that, in addition to it being a quality, it is also an act. Gratitude is not an exact science, it takes practice, development, participation and…

I find it incredibly ironic that the day after we pause to give thanks for whom and for what we have, we are breaking down doors and fighting one another in the name of Black Friday. While easy to proclaim in the fervency of the season among family…

This weekend, as I turned back the clocks, searched for my Happy Light, and stared in dismay at the first snowfall of the season, I was reminded that it is the time to give my immune system some extra love. Autumn and winter ― with their requisite cold and…

I love photographs and have them strewn about and framed throughout the house. From grandchildren and goldens, holidays and travels, each holds a cherished memory. I am happiest taking photos and have cultivated somewhat of a hobby doing so. As I have gotten older, I have (gratefully) discarded the…

“We don’t say the ‘D word’ here,” our instructor said. “Just for tonight, let’s all get into downward-facing cat.” The yoga pose wasn’t one I was comfortable in, but then again, so much about yoga makes me uncomfortable — the clothes, the breathy pseudo-spirituality, the jargon, the way…

By the grace of God, I am a naturally positive individual who lends optimism and hope to even the bleakest of situations. Because of this, it is difficult to find me in a situation when my auspicious nature tires; after all, we find out the most…

In this chaotic world in which we live, it is hard to be still, to sit with nothing but our thoughts. There is always something to worry about or preoccupy our minds that never allows us to rest in the present. As I sit on the patio and write,…

“The very beating of your heart has meaning and purpose.” This is a quote from Andy Andrews in “The Butterfly Effect.” I have referenced this quote on several occasions. It speaks volumes because it affirms that we are here on purpose, not by chance. I did an…

The art of writing has been my refuge during some incredibly difficult times. Writing also serves as a vessel to express my joys, life lessons, and messages I wish to share with others. Writing is therapeutic. Expressing myself through prose and poetry allows me to connect with others. It…

Believe it or not, summer is nearing its end, and a new school year is upon us. I don’t know about you all, but I loved back-to-school time. It meant new things to learn, friends to make and activities to try. It involved a new wardrobe, too, but…

Fatigue, limited mobility, and poor self-esteem or resiliency were found to be associated with periods of serious depression among multiple sclerosis patients, according to a recent study. Previous research has suggested that MS patients are at risk of major depression, with potentially profound impact on their quality of life. But only a few studies have addressed the incidence of depression among MS patients or the risk factors that may underlie its occurrence. Researchers in Canada enrolled 188 MS patients being treated an Alberta clinic, who were interviewed to assess potential risk factors for depression: namely, socioeconomic status, disease-related factors, childhood risk factors, psychosocial factors, and health behaviors. Participants were also asked to complete the Patient Health Questionnaire every two weeks for six months to identify depressive symptoms in real-time. Over a six-month follow-up, 36 cases of depression were reported among the group of MS patients analyzed. The incidence of depression was 0.019 for women, but higher — 0.044 — for men. Importantly, several factors seemed to be associated with depression in these patients — fatigue, limited mobility, and low resiliency, self-esteem, and self-efficacy, as well as poor coping skills. Results also showed that gender and income were associated with depression. Overall, the researchers concluded that "depression in MS exhibits a risk factor profile similar to that of depression in the general population, with the additional impact of MS illness-related factors. Potentially modifiable risk factors, such as coping with stress and resiliency, present opportunities for focus of further research in depression in MS treatment and prevention efforts." Concerning treatment, the team also emphasized that "while there is evidence in the clinical context that supports the efficacy for pharmacologic and non-pharmacologic treatments for depression in the general population, there is currently insufficient evidence to support/or refute the efficacy of depression treatment for individuals with MS ... Clearly this is an area that requires additional research."

The second module in the National Multiple Sclerosis Society’s positive psychology program, “Everyday Matters,” is called “Adjusting Our Mindset,” or “the fulcrum and the lever.” In science, the law of the lever states that power into the lever equals the power out, and the ratio of output to…

How can you care for your MS when a loved one is ill? You want to be able to care for others despite your own daily struggles. As unpredictable as MS is, what is predictable is that your life will be touched by the…

Last week, I shared details of Everyday Matters, a program by the National Multiple Sclerosis Society. This self-directed, multi-week program uses the principles of positive psychology. The readings, lessons, and exercises need not be completed in a particular order, but I am going to start my exploration of…

Many years ago, not long after my MS diagnosis, my cousin gave me a “gratitude journal.” At that time, I was all too aware of what I was not grateful for. The thought of giving thanks was daunting. But the journal suggested writing down just three things a…