They say that the only certainties in life are death and taxes. While I agree with these two, a third inevitability is capitulation. Why do we have theme parks when we have lives? We have highs and lows and homeostasis in-between. Just when you think it is safe to exhale,…
Silver Linings — Jennifer Powell
Jennifer is the Associate Director of Partnerships for Bionews (Multiple Sclerosis News Today is a subsidiary of Bionews). Jenn is also the host of the Multiple Sclerosis podcast, as well as a featured columnist. An active advocate in the MS community, Jenn imparts her hopeful optimism into real-life challenges facing the MS community. Now with secondary-progressive MS, Jenn continues to elevate the patient voice to better the lives of those living with MS. When not writing, Jenn enjoys volunteering with her local golden retriever rescue, traveling, and spending time with family and friends. Jenn resides in Orange County, California, with her husband and golden retriever.
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The ballerina twirls in the late afternoon light. As if on cue, Tchaikovsky’s “Nutcracker” suite begins to play. I’m lost in the dimly lit ornaments as my mind wanders. I fall into a deep nostalgia. My mind is a montage of Christmases past. My 6-year-old self follows my dad as we…
I am a positive person with not-so-positive moments. These moments don’t quantify my essence. Nevertheless, they sure try. I work hard to keep the negativity at bay, but I don’t always succeed. As I write, I’m overcome with pain and fatigue. This is not the exception but the…
Few things scare me. I mean, truly frighten me to my core. While I flee from bees and scream at spiders, I have been both stung and bitten. Scary movies, no matter how asinine, freak me out. Being alone in the dark invokes vivid imagination. Jason, Freddy, and Michael Myers.
I spend a great deal of time in my head. I think. A lot. Perhaps I do so more than I should, but then again, it is a haven at times. My thoughts run the gamut from the serious to the inane. Today my thoughts…
I am balancing my laptop on one pillow and a leg brace. I have myriad MS-related health issues; alas, this is not among them. After meniscus surgery, aggressive arthritis, and a loss of cartilage, I’m facing knee replacement. Due to a busy schedule and the sustaining effects of Rituxan (rituximab),…
Fatigue falls hard as I look out on the first hot day of the year. I struggle to focus as my head bobs. This is my new normal. The attacks are merciless,…
I am a strategist. I think things through. This attribute is borne of necessity. A birthday dinner is not complete without my exit plan. As I wait to be served, I realize the booth is a bit low. I smile, blow out my candle, then scope out things…
Living with secondary progressive multiple sclerosis is a lesson in discovery. I strive to manage life with MS one day at a time. My disease touches all aspects of my life. One of the elements it affects is intimacy: closeness, affinity, warmth, trust, and mutual affection. Intimacy is friendliness,…
If a cat has nine lives then I have at least twice as many. One day shy of my 50th birthday, my mind runs a vivid montage of years past. I close my eyes and I am there. I feel a heavy melancholy as the movie rolls. I see…
I had a busy weekend. I made it to an event I had so wanted to attend and survived it. Our golden retriever rescue had a volunteer mixer, and both Abby and I enjoyed ourselves. Once home, Abby sacked out and I began nursing the inevitable pain. The…
I am in a funk. It took a lot of mental volleying to admit this. I am preconditioned to synonymize feeling down with weakness. This is simply untrue. I am strong. But I am also having a difficult time managing my disease. Both can be true. In my transparency, I…
I like to keep my life as normal as possible. This can be difficult given the physical challenges multiple sclerosis and chronic pain pose. Nevertheless, I try. Saturday was one of those days. I mistakenly assumed I could tackle Costco — the Goliath to my David. Hence, I must…
I have a hard time asking for help. Even when it’s offered, my knee-jerk reaction is to decline. Only in desperation do I reach out for, or accept, much-needed assistance. I say I am OK more often than I am. I do things myself more than I should.
I watched the sunrise with dread, my peaceful time disquieted by my own internal chatter. An 80-degree day would soon replace the cool mid-January morning. Not my favorite. I am a creature of conditioning. Pavlov would be proud. The mere sight of the hazy morning sun against the blue…
Not everyone is going to get it. And by “it” I mean our disease and the way it affects our lives. Few understand our limitations or the ramifications of pushing past them. Many people are perplexed when, having witnessed our smiles and strength, they see us suffering. Others…
Today I came back to myself. For two months, I have been encapsulated in a hazy bubble. I could not kick this persistent bronchial condition and began to get frustrated. After three courses of ineffectual antibiotics and inhalers, I had a work-up for pneumonia. Thirty minutes later, I received…
Last updated May 5, 2023 As the year comes to a close, I find myself in a reflective state. This mild nostalgia visits each December and accompanies me into the New Year. I usually honor this slight melancholy by thinking of all that has transpired in a mere 365 days.
Ever since I can remember, my family has had a real Christmas tree. Finding the perfect tree became a magical adventure. We often cut our own, but as I grew older, we would choose one from a local lot. My mom would play traditional Christmas songs while…
In this season of thanks and giving, I have realized the beauty of receiving. I have recognized when to ask for help and how to accept assistance graciously. This has not been my strong suit in the past. I am most at ease with myself when I am of service…
I have always prided myself on my smarts. I excelled in college, where I realized my love for learning. I enjoy conversing with others, and I make a concerted effort to expand my horizons. I have never shied away from an opportunity to make another’s acquaintance. Be it current…
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