self-care

Editor’s note: “Need to Know” is a series inspired by common forum questions and comments from readers. Have a comment or question about MS? Visit our forum. This week’s question is inspired by the forum topic, “With MS I have learned the importance of…

I watched the sunrise with dread, my peaceful time disquieted by my own internal chatter. An 80-degree day would soon replace the cool mid-January morning. Not my favorite. I am a creature of conditioning. Pavlov would be proud. The mere sight of the hazy morning sun against the blue…

I’d be lying if I said I enjoyed the endless hours of Barney I was forced to endure when I babysat kids in the 1990s, but “The Clean Up Song” has stuck with me. Why? For one thing, it worked like a charm to get the house…

One of the hardest things I’ve had to accept with MS is the necessity of asking for help. Pride and self-reliance dissipate remarkably quickly when you find yourself splayed on the floor and you no longer have the capacity to get up. In extremis, I then ask for help.

Ah, it’s a new year. And what would a new year be without a few resolutions and goals to kick it off? Rather than a set of instructions, a plan, or a few words of encouragement, however, I’ll just tell you about a little something that’s going on in…

Last updated May 5, 2023 As the year comes to a close, I find myself in a reflective state. This mild nostalgia visits each December and accompanies me into the New Year. I usually honor this slight melancholy by thinking of all that has transpired in a mere 365 days.

Not long ago, I dreamed I was running. Again. It was the first time I’d had the dream in a while. It was always the same, “Been Caught Stealing,” or something like it roaring in my headphones, me in stride and rhythm with the…

Ever since I can remember, my family has had a real Christmas tree. Finding the perfect tree became a magical adventure. We often cut our own, but as I grew older, we would choose one from a local lot. My mom would play traditional Christmas songs while…

At the start of all of this, when I was laid low in the hospital by what turned out to be sclerosis, I was visited by my mate Nigel. He is the king of sclerosis (I’ve written about our “ill” starred bromance in this column) and he offered this…

  Living with multiple sclerosis (MS) could be compared to having an annoying house guest who never leaves. You can tolerate them at first, but soon your nerves and resilience wear thin. You try to accept and adapt to the house guest, but you never give up on trying to…

Last week, I wrote about climbing through grief. This week, I will focus on what I learned in the throes of the cycle of grief. Several people share the opinion that I do too much. My cousin often says that he wants me to say no to…

I am a self-described homebody. I enjoy social gatherings and getting out, but I always look forward to coming home. Within five minutes of pulling into the garage, I am in sweats and a T-shirt. My demeanor immediately softens. Home is familiar, and in familiarity I find safety. Sometimes, safety…

I turned 40 this year, and it seemed like a mighty fine time to stop and take stock. After all, I’m at the midway point, and if I want the second half of my life to be as fun and productive as the first, I have to make…

How do you manage stress when you are stressed? How do you avoid letting stress dominate not only your mind but also your physical being? I wish I knew. At my first clinic following my MS diagnosis, the doctor warned me about stress and its effect on MS. I…

Recently, I was required to take a “quick” 100-question test to determine what my Enneagram number is. (I’m a 5, in case you’re curious.) These questions — answered by clicking “agree” or “disagree” — weren’t complicated in any sense of the word. I honestly think I learned more…

When you have MS, finding a way to dress for success means more than just looking sharp. It means dressing to both look good and feel good about yourself while wearing clothing that’s easy to wear. Finding those clothes takes a little more effort than simply going into a…

With the recent suicides of Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain, I feel called upon to write about something many of us are all too familiar with: depression. While these high-profile deaths made the headlines, thousands of others took their own lives during that same seven-day period. Depression is…

Hurricane season began on June 1 in the Atlantic region. For people living along the coast, as I do, it’s time to plan for moving quickly. For people with mobility problems, planning is essential since, as you know, moving isn’t something that we do quickly. I wrote…

I just saw a couple of “golden tumbleweeds” swirl past my feet. My attempts at keeping a clean house are no match for Abby’s ever-falling golden locks, and I am OK with that. There was a time when those two balls of hair would have elicited profound anxiety. The anxiety…

Awareness is, at times, barely imperceptible, a quiet conviction that lies within. As with most truths, they are self-evident long before we decide to own them. And when we do, it is as if we have opened our eyes for the first time. My eyes are open. Living with progressive…

Our life experiences shape and define who we are. While some wash over us and dissipate, others leave indelible impressions. Both emotional and physical, our scars hold our past and influence our future. We are the totality of these scars and their narrative is powerful. Each is a chapter in…

I spent the majority of my life as a people pleaser. From the time I was young, I equivocated “yes” with likability; please and be pleased. As the years passed, compromising my own needs became second to meeting those of others. While I genuinely enjoy…

We are approaching the conclusion of National Multiple Sclerosis Awareness Month, but those of us with MS know that the responsibility to educate is unending. I was pondering what my topic would be this week. As awareness month exits, I want to proffer an encouraging message. This…

As an advocate for the multiple sclerosis community, people often ask me what it’s like being a mother while living with MS. My quick response is, “Joyous!” But I understand the questioner is looking for something more. They want to know how to…

I have been contemplative these last few days, lost in thought regarding the state of the MS. I am not sad or upset, simply in observation mode. Reaching for what may have precipitated this gentle melancholy, I realize I am on the precipice of my 49th year. While MS continues…

It’s frightening to feel sick most of the time. Frightening, scary, overwhelming, unnerving, and hellish. Whichever negative words you choose are the right ones to describe how it feels to live with MS. People with MS are snowflakes, and our emotions are quite often the same. After three-plus…

After taking a tumble this week, I am reminded of the power of resilience. Dictionary.com defines resilience as: “1. the power or ability to return to the original form, position, etc., after being bent, compressed, or stretched; elasticity. 2. ability to recover readily from illness, depression, adversity,…

Last updated April 25, 2023 At the intersection of hope and despair is a bench to sit and rest. At least, I hope there is. The bench gives us an opportunity to take a breather from the stresses of the world. It’s a chance to sit and think about which…

Who decides how we choose to chronicle our journey of illness? I have thought about this for the past few days. Many people believe that sharing the negative aspects of illness exacerbates fear and pessimism. The mindset is that if our words are inconsistent with hope and optimism, we…

I have always loved the start of New Year’s; tabula rasa, clean slate. Much like a snake shedding its skin, we leave behind the old and embrace the new, or at least accept such. While Dec. 31 is ripe with well-intentioned resolutions, I avoid promising myself anything simply because…